Monster Spray

Luke came running into our bedroom the night before last at 3:00 a.m. in a panic, saying, "He moved his hand! He moved his hand!" He scooted in between us in the bed and caught sight of the print I have on the wall of a figure standing under a full moon, pointed to it and said, "Maybe that's him!" He was terrified, he said "of ghosts" and he had a fever of 103°. I spent the next hour trying to calm him enough so he could sleep; we had to turn the light on because he kept seeing things in the shadows and I had to sleep facing him.

In the morning, he was still frightenend and wouldn't leave our room alone. He called Tina and she had to go up and get him out. They wrote a book together about scary things, and Luke told her about a book that Miss Shriner reads them that has something called "Monster Spray" in it. Independently, yesterday, Christina told me about using Monster Spray when Charlie was at the same stage, and spraying it under the bed and in the closet when they go to bed, using a little scent in water so they can smell it there. So when I came home I mixed up a bottle of water with a little of our natural citrus air freshener in it, and when I was putting Luke to bed I sprayed it everywhere he wanted, which turned out to be everywhere ("On my clothes so the monsters won't wear them, on my books so the monsters won't read them, on my light sabers so the monsters won't use them"...). He seemed fine and fell asleep on his own in there, but when I cam up to bed around midnight I must have woken him, and after trying to settle him in his own bed three or four times I gave up and let him sleep with me.

He's gotten harder to sleep with because he occasionally grinds his teeth so badly it sounds like he's knocking rocks together. I think the grinding's gotten worse since his terror the other night, which does make sense, but he's been grinding for a long time and it really worries me. I'm a terrible grinder, as are most of my father's side of the family, and I'm convinced that it's just inherited and not necessarily related to stress, because what's a 4-year-old got for stress? But then, our four-year-old is stressed, in his own 4-year-old way, and always has been sensitive and high-strung like me. So he inherited the grinding from me and the temperament, too. How do I help him when I can't even help myself? I did call his dentist to ask about getting him a guard so he'll get used to it while he's young (I have never been able to sleep with one in my mouth), but her office was closed so I'll have to try again next week.

Our boys are so different in temperament from each other, and so similar to each of us. The work that Tina and I are doing, alone and together, in therapy now seems more and more urgent to me, so we can learn how to be the parents our boys need us to be. In the meantime, I think we'll be going through a lot of monster spray at our house. Good thing it's cheap.

Teo: Short & Stubborn

Our youngest son is adorable and infuriating, a paradoxical bundle of laid-back guy and willful monster. For four months we've known he could walk, was perfectly capable of taking unassisted steps if he chose to, and we've been waiting patiently, in an atmostphere of almost no pressure, for him to step up, as it were. Then last Sunday (January 15, 2006 for the record book), while my parents were visiting, they'd been here for less than an hour when my mother called out from the living room, where she was all alone with Teo, that he'd just taken two steps! Apparently he'd forgotten himself for a moment, taken the steps, and then when he realized what he'd done, looked terrified and plopped back down on his bottom. We tried to coax and cajole a repeat performance out of him for the rest of the day with no success. A week later he still won't walk, but he can get everywhere, including up onto and off the couches by himself, up stairs, pretty much anywhere he wants to be.

Last night after putting the boys to bed we turned on the baby monitor to check on them and heard Teo calling, "Mama! Mama! Mama!" over and over. Then this morning he woke me at 6:30 with the same work instead of his customary morning crying. He's not in any hurry, hasn't seemed to have the slightest bit of competitive drive (Luke started walking and didn't stop again after spending a day with our mom's group and seeing his age-mate, Caleb, walking around our house all day; Teo's reaction to seeing Caleb's brother Abe do the same when we got together a month ago: unimpressed.) and just seems to be having a grand old time. We could learn a lot from this kid.

Playing in the Snow

Luke makes a new friend out in the snow...

...and then decides to have him for a snack.