The Thing I Have

So I called Teen during a lunch break from my work in NJ last week to see how the three of them were doing. Luke was coloring, and apparently had just said to Teen, "Mama, do you know who this is a picture of? It's Mommy." Then he looked at it critically and said, "But I didn't draw her penis."

Hello?! For the record, I do not have a penis, and my son sees me naked pretty much daily. Did I post about how recently he told me, "You should do this when you have a penis"? Anyway, today I was talking to him about it, and I said to him, "You know Mommy doesn't have a penis," and he said, yeah, but I didn't draw the thing you have." I said, "You don't know what that thing I have is called, do you?" and he said, "No."

I confess, this was the end of the conversation. We were with friends, and there were seven-year-old boys around. I know I have to teach him a word. I read Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid They'd Ask and I know that a much greater percentage of both boys and girls know the proper term for male sexual organs than for female ones. The thing is, it feels like it's so much more involved to decide what term to use. Do I use "vulva"? "Vagina"? The more modern and feminist "yoni"? The latter sounds a little too much like a children's music singer and the V words sound too clinical, unlike the friendly, almost dog-like, "penis." What I really want to do is teach him my favorite word to refer to what I have down there: "Ween". But that makes me feel only about ten years more advanced than our grandmothers who used "wee-wee," "woo-hoo," etc. It's a chic-er, cooler nick-name, one that sounds friendly, yet exotic, maybe foreign, like my sexual organs were some cool but down-to-earth foreign exchange student.

So I know I have to have the talk sometime soon. Pray for me.